Christ the Cornerstone

Parents help children practice faith through example, prayer

“In place of a basket filled with fruits of the Earth, [St. Monica] had learned to bring to the oratories of the martyrs a heart full of purer petitions, and to give all that she could to the poor—so that the Communion of the Lord’s body might be rightly celebrated in those places where, after the example of his passion, the martyrs had been sacrificed and crowned” (St. Augustine, Confessions 6.2.2).

Tomorrow, Aug. 27, is the memorial of St. Monica, mother of St. Augustine. We know that her prayers were answered when her son finally surrendered his willful pride and individuality to God, and Augustine became a fervent disciple of Jesus Christ whose life and teaching bore powerful witness to the truth of our faith.

St. Monica can be seen as a patron saint of parents who worry about their children’s practice of their faith.

As many parents have learned over the past 2,000 years, but especially today, it’s not enough to have children baptized and given a solid formation at home and in religious education classes.

The young Augustine was raised in the Christian faith, but like many others he drifted away from the Church and searched for meaning and purpose elsewhere. The world he inhabited as a young man, as a student of philosophy, and as an ardent truth-seeker, was not unlike our contemporary secular culture.

Augustine tried out many philosophies, and he lived in ways that his mother disapproved of, even fathering a child out of wedlock. But Monica never gave up on him.

With tears and heartfelt prayers, she begged God to reveal himself to her wayward son and to help him find the Way, the Truth, and the Life that is Christ.

After many years of anxious concern, this devout mother’s prayers were answered, and one of the greatest theologians our Church has ever known emerged from the darkness of false thinking and living and was baptized into the light of Christ.

St. Monica’s experience can be a source of inspiration and hope to parents in every age who worry about their children’s spiritual life. The sanctifying grace imparted by baptism remains in the heart and soul of every child who receives this great gift from his or her parents through the power of the Holy Spirit and the ministry of the Church.

That’s why we believe that the sacrament of baptism imparts an “indelible mark on the soul” that cannot be washed away by sin or neglect. In addition, the formation in faith given to children, youths and young adults stays with them even if it recedes into the background of their conscious awareness.

Parents of grown children may be tempted to ask, “Why did I spend so much time and money on my kids’ religious education when they no longer practice their faith?” But the experience of many anxious parents, like St. Monica, is that we cannot control what our children do with the gifts that we give them. Often enough, however, the seeds we plant (by the grace of God) do produce good fruits over time if they are nurtured by our good example and our prayer.

It is essential for parents to model the behavior they hope their children will adopt. That’s why it’s so important for parents to take their children with them to Mass on Sundays, to receive the sacrament of reconciliation (confession) regularly, and to encourage family prayer and devotions. If parents only give lip service to the practice of their faith, how can they expect their children to take it seriously?

As Pope Francis reminded us during his recent “penitential journey” to Canada, the gift of faith can never be imposed on anyone. It must be witnessed to in the lives of those who want to share their faith, hope and joy with others. Parents who worry about their children’s practice of the faith should look first to their own words and example. Are they living in ways that can inspire and encourage our children? Or do they live in ways that are indistinguishable from the secular world around them?

St. Monica didn’t force her son to open his heart and change his life. She didn’t impose her faith on him. What she did was to live fully her own Christian faith and then to pray fervently for her son’s conversion.

Let’s ask this great saint to intercede for all parents and their children. May the grace of every child’s baptism be nurtured by the faithful witness and fervent prayer of his or her parents. And may our Church always support and encourage parents in their efforts to share the faith, hope and joy of Christ with their children. †