Another mom’s story: Diana Hay makes the most of her ‘Grandma time’

Holy Spirit parishioner Diana Hay of Indianapolis poses for an informal portrait with her active grandsons, from left, Aaron Baker, Daniel Baker and Dylan Mercado, at Ellenberger Park in Indianapolis. Hay plans to visit her daughters, Julie Mercado and Kimberly Baker, and her grandchildren in Dayton, Ohio, this weekend to celebrate Mother’s Day.

By Mary Ann Wyand

“Grandma time” is limited, but Holy Spirit parishioner Diana Hay of Indianapolis knows how to make the most of it.

Hay, who has served as executive assistant and events coordinator for SS. Peter and Paul Cathedral Parish in Indianapolis since October 1998, has two grown daughters and three young grandsons in Ohio.

She usually visits her children and grandchildren every other month, and stays connected to them with frequent telephone calls as well as e-mail notes and digital photographs.

Still, Hay admits, it’s hard on her “mother’s heart” to live in another state about 120 miles away from her daughters, son-in-law and three little boys who are the light of her life.

Her oldest daughter, Julie Mercado, lives in Dayton with her 3-year-old son, Dylan. Joseph and Kimberly Baker have two sons, 3-year-old Aaron and 1-year-old Daniel, and live in nearby Kettering, Ohio.

“Aren’t I lucky?” Hay asked as she looked at a family portrait.

“We’re a close family,” she said, “and we stay emotionally connected by phone and e-mail. When I’m going into withdrawal and need to see them, I beg them to send me more pictures of the boys. They were all here for Easter and pictures were taken then. ... I have a new screensaver on my computer. It’s a picture of me with the three boys.”

Hay plans to spend Mother’s Day weekend with her family in Dayton. Fortunately, her daughters live near each other so it’s easy to see everyone during weekend visits.

“Being a grandmother is so much more than I ever expected it to be and I just feel such an incredible awe looking at the boys,” she said. “They’re all so different and so

precious. I love them so much.”

As a grandmother, Hay said, she tries not to give her daughters any parenting advice unless they ask for help.

“I do tell them to enjoy their children while they are young,” she said. “It certainly doesn’t take long for them to be grown,

married and off on their own so I tell them to enjoy every day they have with them.”

Hay said she was a “hands-on” mother who always tried to make the most of her daughters’ childhood years.

When Hay looks at her daughters, she can still visualize them during their toddler years all the way through high school in their band or sports uniforms.

“I have so many pictures from when they were little,” she said. “It’s fun to look at them. There’s one cute picture of them when they were having a tea party.

“I love to take pictures so I have albums and albums full of pictures from when they were little and as they grew older,” Hay said. “Now I have the same kind of pictures with my grandsons. My daughters make fun of me and say, ‘Oh, here comes Mom! She’s got her camera.’ I love to watch the boys interact with each other. Those are priceless moments, and I want to save them forever.”

Every day, Hay said, she prays the

universal mother’s prayer, asking God to keep her children and grandchildren healthy and safe.

“God has been there for me in all the ups and downs of life,” she said, “and knowing that brings me comfort.”

Daniel Sarell, director of the

archdiocesan Office of Family Ministries, said “technology has come a long way in bringing us closer together” as families.

“The instantaneous nature of our new communication technologies allows us to stay in touch with each other … in a virtual sense,” Sarell said, “help to bridge the

distance and make it as if we are actually present to each other. … Perhaps the purest use of these technologies can be for keeping families together to the extent that they can maintain ongoing contact with one another in lieu of living closer to each other.”

Grandparents can look at digital

pictures sent by e-mail, he said, and watch events in the lives of their grandchildren via live or recorded video webcasts.

“A few key things have to happen in order for this type of connectedness to be practical,” Sarell said. “Families often need to collaborate with each other to educate their loved ones on the use of technology. [The] technology has to be available and affordable, and schools

and parishes can play a role in making their technology resources available to families, for example, by webcasting special events. … Families that can’t be physically together can still share common experiences.” †